DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DISCIPLINE AND PUNISHMENT
Focus upon the future: “Here is what to do instead”.
Preserves mutual respect of feelings and dignity.
Raises self esteem. Leaves child feeling good about himself.
Teaches self-control by explaining reason.
Parent and child feel good about each other and the relationship.
Sensible: related to misbehaviour
Motivates and encourages to do better next time.
Looks for feelings and needs that drive behaviour.
Child feels understood.
Decreases power struggles, since the needs of parent and child are met.
Time-In: Parent and child decide together on time, place, tools and helping person.
Consequences: Focus upon restitution and natural outcome of events.
Focus upon the past: “Stop doing that!”
Ignores feelings and dignity of the child.
Lowers self-esteem. Leaves child feeling bad about himself.
Teaches outside control by offering no
Parent and child feel disconnected from each other and the relationship
Arbitrary: unrelated to misbehaviour
Inspires anger, resentment, rebellion, revenge, or withdrawal
Focuses on behaviour
Child feels misunderstood.
Increases power struggles, because only the needs of the parent are met.
Time-Out: Parent decides on time, place, tools, and helping person.
Consequences: Focus on hurting or depriving the child.
ãCopyright Judy Arnall, December 2001 (phone 403-252-6513)